After most solid foods were banned in 2275, the human digestive system became prone to excretion failure. Centuries of genetically altered foods and millennia of poor eating habits had taken a toll on humanity. Scientists attributed this fact and the species’ cell memory on the sudden increase in global constipation rates (as indicated in The Sludge Report). Within hours of the publication of this report, a group of engineers had designed a method to relieve humanity of its bunged-up-ness – the fecal vacuum tube.
The tube is gently inserted into the anus and quickly but quietly sucks all fecal matter into a compressed storage unit for eventual disposal at an appropriate landfill bunker. While 90% of men and 85% of women had some difficulty becoming acclimated to the new excretion procedure, it was popularized in the hit Broadway musical of 2278, The Butler Couldn’t Do It.
Later versions of the fecal vacuum tube also released a sedative into the user, giving them “a warm fuzzy feeling” all over.