Van Allen Radiation Umbrella

The Van Allen Radiation Umbrella is not, as most humans believe, named after the ring of radiation that encircles the Earth. It was in fact named after Herbert Van Allen, the founder of the company that invented the device. That company is Van Allen Technocrati.

Though Herb died billions of quarter-seconds before his namesake was even conceived, he would have been proud to know that the development of the radiation umbrella was shrouded in as much secrecy as any of his company’s previous successes. The VARU is currently in widespread use on the surface of the moon and sales have increased on Earth wherever there has been the threat of an ozone outage.

The umbrella is designed to shield up to 2 meters around the user from harmful solar radiation in any negligible atmosphere environment. Some celebrity robots have even been spotted accessorizing with a VARU, including Cindy-6, Teflar-185 and classical oboist Toyfarm M-G-T.

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