Category Archives: Politics

Steal This Riot

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Dear G20 Protest Organizers, a piece of advice: next time don’t show up, don’t protest.

Because inaction as action would have acutely demonstrated to everybody how wasteful and counter-productive the top 20 economies of the world actually are.

Had there been no protests or protesters, no visible action, no civil disobedience for the mainstream media to twist into hyperbole, then there would have been a billion dollars spent on security, solely to arrest one confused homeless guy with a crossbow.

And then you’d have had millions – literally, MILLIONS – more voices closer to your side of the socio-economic debate in which you’re entangled.

Fires are extinguished with water, not with gasoline. If G20 security forces had had nothing and nobody from which to protect the G20 leaders, their presence would have been so obviously unwarranted.

As it is, the protests and riots and vandalism completely justified the presence of ridiculously over-reaching security measures.

You blew it.

Monkey Heresy, Monkey Heredo

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What is going on with God these days? I mean, isn’t God supposed to be all-powerful? And yet, if many of God’s followers would have you believe, God is about as powerful as a 98-pound wimp getting sand kicked in his face at the beach and as precious as a baby in a cradle hanging tenuously from a tree branch on the side of a cliff.

The guys from South Park got death threats recently because apparently they depicted Mohammed in a mascot bear suit. To the people who issued these death threats, I would love to ask, “Is the perception of your deity so weak that it cannot withstand mockery?”

After all, it is mockery – the second lowest form of comedy. And you want to kill someone over it? Really? I submit to you that perhaps you just want to kill someone. And South Park is simply your raison d’etre du jour.

Elsewhere, I read a comment in a discussion thread that sprouted from an article about Stephen Hawking’s recent revelation of his fear of alien contact. The comment was from a Christian who was complaining about all the heresy he had to endure in reading the article and the discussion that followed.

Again, just as with the issuers of Islamic death threats, I would love to ask Christians who complain of heresy, “Is the perception of your deity so weak that it cannot withstand an idea?”

After all, it’s only an idea – it doesn’t actually exist. No one’s putting your deity in the middle of a street in Pamplona, where actual trampling does occur. And you want to shut someone down about it? Really? I submit to you that perhaps you just want to shut someone down. And square pegs make for the easiest of targets, don’t they?

We can put a man on the Moon but we can’t cure the lowest common denominator.

Renewing your contract in the next election

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Here’s a letter I just emailed to my MP. If you think that you could use all or some of this to convince your MP to do what they were hired to do, please take all or some of it…

Hello Olivia,

I don’t believe we’ve met but I am one of the people who hired you in the last election.

It has recently come to my attention that a man by the name of Stephen Harper has been urging you and all your fellow employees to not show up for work on January 25th.

I don’t know who this guy thinks he is. Apparently, he was hired by 17,296 delegates of something called “the Conservative Party” (which does not sound like a fun party at all). At any rate, you and your fellow employees do not answer to him. You answer to your employers, collectively known as Canada.

I can assure you, Olivia, that when I hired you, it was *NOT* to not show up for work.

In fact, you were hired for the explicit purpose of not only showing up for work but also, upon showing up, actually doing the work that came with the job. In short, you were hired because you were the most qualified candidate for this job.

This Harper guy has said that you and all your fellow employees shall return to work on March 3rd. Again, I don’t know who he thinks he is, but January 25th is the date that was previously agreed upon for you and your fellow employees to return to work.

I strongly urge you to ignore this Harper guy’s requests to not show up for work on January 25th. I strongly urge you to do the job for which you were hired – honourably representing the collective will of your fellow citizens.

For while showing up for work on January 25th might now seem like it will be a lonely affair, I can guarantee you that not showing up for work on January 25th will be much lonelier in the long run. The wrong choice on January 25th will become a permanent part of your work record.

I’m sure you’re aware that the next time Canada is hiring, your work record will be one of the items taken into consideration. If you did not do the job for which you were hired, saddened as it might make me, I simply would not be able to renew your contract.

Thank you for your time, Olivia. Please take the next 17 days to rest up so you can start 2010 fresh and focused.

Yours truly,
sf