Tag Archives: gopedia

Fecal Vacuum Tubes

After most solid foods were banned in 2275, the human digestive system became prone to excretion failure. Centuries of genetically altered foods and millennia of poor eating habits had taken a toll on humanity. Scientists attributed this fact and the species’ cell memory on the sudden increase in global constipation rates (as indicated in The Sludge Report). Within hours of the publication of this report, a group of engineers had designed a method to relieve humanity of its bunged-up-ness – the fecal vacuum tube.

The tube is gently inserted into the anus and quickly but quietly sucks all fecal matter into a compressed storage unit for eventual disposal at an appropriate landfill bunker. While 90% of men and 85% of women had some difficulty becoming acclimated to the new excretion procedure, it was popularized in the hit Broadway musical of 2278, The Butler Couldn’t Do It.

Later versions of the fecal vacuum tube also released a sedative into the user, giving them “a warm fuzzy feeling” all over.

XP-38 Vid-Pod

The XP-38 Vid-Pod is the newest generation of the vid-pod device. Released in 2508 to critical acclaim, sales of the XP-38 were driven primarily by its enhanced array of features. Among them were:

  1. a proto-plasma tube array for high-definition holographic content;
  2. a standard light percolator for transmissions made under any challenging light conditions;
  3. VibraBoss® waveform technology for transmissions made under any challenging sound conditions;
  4. sonar-laser scanning for emergency medical diagnoses
  5. A legal clause that guarantees the XP-38 Vid-Pod will not be obsolete for at least three cycles

XP-35 Vid-Pod

Released in 2506 to critical acclaim, sales of the XP-35 Vid-Pod were driven primarily by its enhanced array of features. Among them were:

  1. NightVision® for transmissions made in low light levels;
  2. A standard invertoscope for transmissions made in low gravity environments;
  3. Kelior® audio and video, allowing the user to block out other users and receiving devices from either hearing or seeing your feed;
  4. X-ray scanning for emergency medical diagnoses;
  5. A bright red button that should not be pressed.

Food Cubes

Though they only recently became a dietary staple, food cubes have been in existence for nearly three millennia. Invented by an unknown Chinese cook, they were originally called tofu but over time became known as tofu cubes, ‘fu cubes and finally food cubes. Made from curdled bean paste which has been injected with a vitamin solution, food cubes became a necessary dietary supplement when most solid foods were banned in 2275. Coupled with the liquids available from a DrinkPod Basic, no human need ever be undernourished again.

Food cubes are available in nine popular flavors – chocolate, butterscotch, peanut, almond, coconut, salamaroni (with or without chongo), all dressed and musk – and one not-so-popular flavor – plain.

XP-18 Vid-Pod

The XP-18 Vid-Pod is a weathered generation of the vid-pod device. Released in 2450 to incredible hype, its initial success was in large part due to the fact that it was packaged in multiple colors and came included with a cute but legally non-binding ownership certificate.

While it was a huge success by any measure, the XP-18 device was not without its flaws. After long periods of usage without maintenance, the XP-18’s memory core begins to experience storage entropy; the result – transmissions to or from the user may incur audio or video drop out, audio/video desynchronizing, color flares, decreased image resolution and memory blurring which can cause previous vid-pod entries to feedback into current entries. Eventually, the vid-pod will be unable to record any message longer than a few seconds. Then, the XP-18 will require replacement and upgrade to the most recent generation of vid-pod.

Though the XP-18 was the most basic of vid-pods, the unit’s distribution level was so high that some minimally managed stations still use this vid-pod as their communications method (in such remote places as Alice Springs and relatively unimportant parts of the Moon.)